Ripped Tide and Skinless

My Grandmother used to say two quotes when times became stressful: “Oh boy” (when she was in pain or scared) and “Man oh Man” (when there was a serious event).

I often think of her in terms of: WWGD, or What Would Grandma Do….Would she “Man oh Man” at this? Would she support the decisions? Would she be satisfied with how we’ve handled it as a family? Or would she… “Oh boy”?

I'm a swimmer, so I compare mostly everything to water, as that's my home. As the tide rips in from the dangerous Medicare waters and throws you tolerable yet uncontrollable solution…The solution carries a wake to follow. The wake can be defined as the rough part after a wave in the water And… If you catch this wake at the right time (okay and let's be honest, with a proper catch, that's the coach in me); you can ride it in all the way and then draft off of it to carry you forward in order to gain an advantage, hence saving energy. This energy source if not tapped too early during the tide that follows has three stages: 1) a release, 2) a calm, and 3) a crash… This is the part where you explode any and all efforts hoping they weren’t wasted… Followed by sighting into the distance planting your next move efficiently as possible to straightly move forward.

Note: This whole time you’re in the water, you’re holding your breath, waiting to exhale the old used oxygen, and inhale the new fresh oxygen.

Can I get an “Oh Boy”? I'll end the bumper sticker talk....You get the 'draft'.

What does this have to do with my Grandfather…? No…He does not desire to be an open water swimmer or body surfer at the age of 93. No…He doesn’t want to sail the Pacific in search of a new island.

He’s finding a new calm…yet a bit anxious for the final crash. The unanswered questions come from a few years of avoidance from an internal and timid fear that we all face... The questions that happen during any change…Like… So what’s next?

As I indicated in my very first blog post, where I learned that aged skin doesn’t heal or break the same as 30 year old skin…? Well….Today from an IV that was changed, the tape being pulled (the wrong kind of tape mind you) pulled off some skin, there was no blood; but as my father sitting there during the changing of the line (or wave approaching the shore), holding his breath through the wave waiting for the tide to pass... The tide carried with it a few other unanswered questions…Is the infection spreading? Is he healing? Or are we waiting on a crash? Is this an “Oh boy” or an “Man oh Man”? WWGD? Or can we ingest some finality in it all and look forward to new traditions? Then the suppressed question and one that is avoided: How long?

I’m not sure where this will lead, since it’s now been 4 nights and 5 days of officially being admitted and in hospital care. I hope to say: “Man oh Man” tomorrow and the Grandfather who's been waiting to swim out of the Medicare waters will come out of the wave rejuvenated with a sense of calm, and moving forward efficiently as possible with a feeling of: I don’t have to feel alone anymore.

Until then………. “Oh boy-Oh boy-Oh boy” (in my Grandma voice).