Breakfast with Grandpa
The first of many blog posts to come to describe the history and journey of a family tradition for the last five years.
After my paternal grandmother passed away in 2005, my grandfather living alone after living with his life partner since 1944 was a concern for my family. Striking a balance between living our own lives yet protecting Grandpa’s life has been difficult, and a struggle that is quickly uncovering other hidden secrets of the Jim Dandy brotherhood.
I should include what that family consists of: my mother, my father, and me. My father is an only child, I’m an only child, and my mother has 1 sister that’s a state away. So when it comes to family responsibilities and caring for each other, it’s a team effort that rests solely on us. A responsibility that recently I’ve learned can change you forever. Here’s my story.
Breakfast with Grandpa starts out a little like this, my father and I committed to try to see Grandpa every to every other Saturday at the breakfast place of choice: “Jim Dandy’s”. This every to every other Saturday has had some gaps, and single attendance, as my Saturdays became consumed with other commitments placing the original commitment to my Grandpa…well…second in priority. So I put it my father to handle for a while.
Jim Dandy’s is the place “that everyone knows your name”, when Grandpa walks in he has his own social network without a FaceBook profile, since he doesn’t know how to use the Internet really. Seating himself, talking across the restaurant to anyone familiar, and if they aren’t familiar, they soon will be. Stories begin with biblical references and quick references from a few years ago that seem fresh in his head, and any Reader’s Digest jokes that he can remember from his last issue.
The conversation typically starts out by asking routine questions that he knows are normal to ask, “How’s work” (he knows I work), how’s school (he knows I’m still in school), when are they done (classes), and how much is “Jimmy” playing his horn…. These questions are usually answered by the time the waitress brings the first cup of coffee, a bowl of creamers, and takes an order from the menu of item #2, that is chosen which consists of two soggy pieces of bacon, 4 pieces of toast, two dry eggs.
How hard is it really to just drive an hour plus at 6am just to sit through two hours of meaningless conversation and eat some soggy bacon? Well it’s not. It’s a commitment, and an obligation, but one that quickly changed recently. Recently, I went alone without the “Pops”, a bit nervous as I made the “Breakfast with Grandpa” appointment out intuition much like I did in 2004 to check up on my Grandma prior to my her dying.
Pulling up to the condo, I make the warning phone call, which gives Grandpa enough to put on his shirt, get his coat, and walk to the front door (about 30 minutes). Differently this time however he wanted me to drive this time, and rushed out to my car. Well upon opening the door, I see scratched glasses, green-black-and red bruises all down his face.
Stunned and shocked and alone, I ask…What happened Grandpa, are you okay? He says, “Get in the car, I’ll tell you at breakfast…I have a lot to tell you.”
What he says completely changed me.
Breakfasts with Grandpa…will never be “dull” again.
