After a few missed Saturday visits due to some other events that were taking my attention, such as moving, weather, appliances breaking down, immediate family members falling down gathering injuries…Grandpa took a second seat to my attention unfortunately.
In an effort to redeem my lack of attention these past few weeks, and to re-de-compartmentalize my stress; I’ve committed to making more phone calls in an effort to facilitate what I needed to do a long time ago, be there and acknowledge.
It is too easy to get caught up in your own life, become so self-absorbed with your own problems that you neglect those around you that are really in need of acknowledgement and deserve your attention.
You forget during those times that life is not always about YOU. You forget that your life may not be so stressful had you not had the successes that led to those “problems”. You forget who simply wants to say hi.
In the midst of it all, you forget those that are sitting in their recliner, away from their own routines and familiarity of everyday life, and that you are part of that reason why they’re unfamiliar right now. You are part of why they’re waiting on a phone call from you. You forget to…acknowledge and be…there.
Family. I’ve been an only child all my life obviously, so I have a tendency to bond with close friends and absorb into their own family life. Sometimes however I forget that I have one lone family member out there that sees me as his pride and joy of a grand-daughter. He may not always show it or communicate it, but I’ve learned to accept his forms of acknowledgement.
A simple phone call made today that didn’t last more than 20 minutes appeared to be all it took, funny how that is all we ever need sometimes. Acknowledgement. Is it so hard? Twenty minutes typically is the length as that is all that the attention span allows for, however it did bring responsibility, an apology, and recognition to someone for whom I’ve put second for a while. Which was selfish.
I absorbed a few complaints of course, where have you been, I haven’t seen you, etc…Then it transcended into the menu options served at the assisted living center he just moved into, which I advocated strongly after the first few falls and hospital visits. “They keep serving food with fancy names like…Fettuccini, when I just want bean soup, or beans and ham, or chili, beans...” he says. (Ham…Beans…Soup…ahhhhh) The Jim Dandy brotherhood did NOT come in handy this time, as of course nothing compares to the ‘attentive’ waitresses that make over my 93 year old grandfather raving over how independent he is for his age.
A few minutes later however, sitting on the other end of the phone line, happy to have power in this winter storm, I say, well Grandpa, “Have you considered making a suggestion?” He says, “Well yeah, and the one day I leave for another monthly meeting, they serve ham and beans!” Disgruntled he appears, however laughing at the thought of the simple miscalculation on the day that the menu called for ham and beans. Well this conversation quickly ended as you couldn’t really expand much on the art of beans and ham, however, it was left with a tear that I can say.
As he concludes his rant on the delicacy of the product made from a pig combined with a cheap legume, he says, “Katy…I think about you all the time, I just can’t help but know that you have such a long road ahead.” Choked up I respond, Grandpa…”I think of you all the time myself and I need to stop thinking so much and just pick up the phone and dial.”
Today, with a lump in my throat, and tear down my cheek, I’m forever grateful that I have more time, to dial, to hear, and have someone alive and answering on the other end. Take time, make the call, and acknowledge.
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